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| My leaky bedroom ceiling |
So February is fast approaching, and
the thought of moving to Seattle, though still scary, gets more exciting and
feels more real with every first light of day.
I got a taste of what I could possibly be in for this past week. It rained more last week then it has all year
here. Fortunately, I loved it! This is the attitude I'd need to have in
order to thrive in a drizzling city. There
were only two worrisome problems I had last week that had to do with the rain. The first was the leaky ceiling I didn't know I
had…which led to a soaked carpet, which led to a dank, stale smell this week. Oie. Nothing
I can't handle though. Honestly it had
me trying to be more prepared for my move, thinking about waterproof shoes and
hoodies and what not. I know Seattleites
don't do umbrellas.
The bigger worrisome problem I had regards, not the literal
rain, but whether or not I'll be experiencing any rain at all from the Seattle
sky. Unfortunately, my future Seattle
roommate; my only live connection to the drizzling city, to the grunge capitol,
to the immediate future I've been working toward since mid August, won't return my messages.
In the past six days I've messaged her 3
times via FB messenger and on her wall.
I know, I should call, but unfortunately we never exchanged numbers
because I don't have reliable service, only a text ap. At the time Facebook seemed like the most reliable
means to communicate, it was how we connected to begin with, so I went with it. However, now that I'm inquiring about
specific dates and apartments and plans, she has decided to hit the figurative
pause button on things. It's only been
six days, but she has posted every day, several times on her page, and has
responded to other friends in the past six days since those 3 messages I've
sent…so I don't know what to think, except that I'm being ignored and maybe
she's changed her mind about sharing in this adventure with me. Or maybe she just didn't take the idea as
seriously as I did, though we did speak about it at length in the beginning
months.
I'm stressing about it so much that I've decided to write it
down. I feel like I have so much to
lose, even though I won't physically be losing anything. What does this mean? Does this mean I mis-read my seemingly crystal
clear omen? Was I never meant for
Seattle at all, or am I supposed to go at it alone? Should I say, "eff" it, accept this
as a loss and just focus on my job?
Maybe just buy a car instead? If
I don't go, does this mean I'm giving up?
Or does this unforeseen circumstance merit change? I can't figure it out! I need guidance! All I know is no decision I've made has felt
as right as the one to find a place in this fascinating, far away city with the
one person I knew there. Hopefully I'll
figure it out soon. My future is
starting to smell as dank and stale as my bedroom carpet. I'll be praying extra hard tonight. If anyone reads this, please say a prayer for
the lost and simple minded tonight! :)
