LO AND BEHOLD THE SIGNS!

I googled dis pic :)

For the past 3 years I’ve sent out hundreds of resumes, filled out several applications, had maybe a dozen callbacks, a handful of interviews and not a single real job came from it.  I’m not saying I did everything I could, but I did more to find a job than those around me believed.  Which is understandable….I have been unemployed for nearly 3 years. :)

ANYWHO! After all the wasted resumes and failed interviews and all the rest of it, I finally got a job!  It wasn’t until I prayed for clarity and a clear path that I finally got it, BUT…I finally did.  I know some will laugh at the seemingly simpleminded conclusions I’ve come to regarding how my recent blessings have come to fruition, but either way, I still truly believe in the signs!  After praying for clarity, just a few days later, (this past Sunday) I had a single step of my future plans figured out: Move away.  It was the only independent thought, surrounded by happy vibes, I’d had in 3 years…it was a clear sign to me.  Then on Wednesday, I was hired pretty much on the spot for a job I had picked up an application for that same Sunday, on a whim, because I’d happen to be walking past a place with a help-wanted sign in the window.  It was randomly great timing.  

Oh, FYI, this isn’t going to be a preachy blog I promise!  I know some people don’t like that…me too sometimes.  I may sight a Bible quote here and again, but I’ll keep it focused on the lessons I’ve learned.  I’m a God-fearing, woman of faith but I’m no expert.  I haven’t been to church in years, I have a ton of tattoos, whatever that means, and I haven’t read the Bible through, though I’d like to one day.  I do have this cool app on my phone that spits out Bible verses at random though!  Sounds silly but the verse usually corresponds to a current struggle I might be having and urges me to look up the following verses for context…so me likes!  But I digress…like a lot.  Meh. 

Anyway, it’s not a dream-job or anything, but it’s a start!  Now I can pay my way to Seattle, and it’s the first job I’ve had in 3 years that actually comes with a paystub and a W2.  I’m not going to lie.  Once Jerry, (my boss starting Monday), told me screw it, see you Monday, (lol), my old familiar, uneasy feelings of self-doubt crept up on me easily, like the midday shadow at my rear.  Can I do this?  Do I still have what it takes?  Now that I have a steady paycheck, should I just stay here in Oceanside and save money?  Maybe saving for a car is more important than leaving town.  Maybe Seattle was just a hoop dream.  

But I couldn’t let my doubts take me down a road that wasn’t on the map…not again.  I had to tell myself that the reason things are coming together is because of my prayers.  Now I had to have faith and let the signs take me down the right path.  I absolutely don’t have everything figured out and I’m scared to think of the negatives at this point.  I’m afraid to even think of what can go wrong on Monday, when I start my new job, let alone what is to come when I move 1000 miles away from everything that makes me feel so cozy and comfortable, in 6 months.  But baby-steps is the only way I can gain the independence I once had when I was fearless and young.  I need that independence again, but the upside is, this time when I attain it, it won’t be stifled by the naivety that comes with youth…not that I don’t still have a lot to learn.  I am actually just now figuring things out.  So I guess, for me, 31 is the age of beginnings…and following the signs.  :)

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